5 Years With The Possibility of Parole....

Punishments or Solutions? ​Every parent carries with them some vestige of the past.  Some lingering remains of their childhood and, often, their own parents.  Most of us grew up with some kind of memory of getting punished for our wrongs and we use that in our own parenting style.  Mom or dad is sitting on my shoulder, whispering the proverbial suggestion to me in those moments where I am required to discipline my child.  This is life.  But is it actually helping to solve anything? There was recently a university study that attempted to address the human tendency to punish.  It said that humans, as a group, tend to favor punishment as a first response to problems.  It got me thinking about those of us who are parents.  How do we do as a group?  Do we tend to punish first, and only after it doesn’t work begin thinking about solutions?  I want to encourage parents to be courageous enough to mute the parent on our shoulder and begin to think of solutions first. How often do you ask your children to talk about the problem?  How often do you listen to what they have to say?  How often do you bark orders or enforce punishments without asking and listening?  I think that parents would be surprised how solution focused our kids can be when given the opportunity.